Childhood Trauma: The Gateway Drug

On this episode of When the Bough Breaks Podcast, we get a very special visit from the doc himself, Dr. Robb Kelly (As seen on TV!)  But he didn't get his double PHD until after struggling with his own addiction which led to his estrangement.  
If you or someone you love is struggling with substance abuse ,you don't want to miss this episode. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:16

This is Alexis Erlin, and you are listening to and watching When the Bow Breaks Podcast. We are here today with Dr. Rob Kelly. If you don't know who he is, just Google him. He's everywhere. He's all over the place. He's very accomplished. He's done a lot of work himself in his own personal life. And uh he devotes himself and his time to helping others. Dr. Rob Kelly, thank you so much for being on the show today. We're really excited to have you here.

SPEAKER_01: 0:43

Thank you. Great to be here, guys.

SPEAKER_00: 0:46

Well, can you tell everyone a little bit about what you do? Just a little bit. If they're not familiar, if they haven't Googled yet, tell us a little bit about who you are and what you do.

SPEAKER_01: 0:55

Hey guys, my name is Dr. Rob Kelly. We specialize in neuroscience pertaining to childhood trauma, depression, PTSD, alcoholism, drug addiction, and just wellness as a whole. We also deal with entrepreneurs who want to take their business to another level. So we use the neuroscience and mindset. We're very big on the conscious and subconscious parts of the brain. And we're very big on what the brain and the mind, mind sits inside the brain, mind over matter, the brain's matter of how we can program the mind to have anything we want and have a such a great day every single day and achieve whatever we want to achieve every single time. So we wrote the code.

SPEAKER_00: 1:38

Right. I really like what you said about changing your mindset because that's basically what you do when you are recovering from abuse. You have to change your mindset, and that's when the healing starts. So I want to talk about that. What made you want to come on this show? I know um I just had an email kind of pop up in my inbox and uh from Courtney, I think, and she was saying, um, wow, this is actually really cool. I want to get you guys connected. Uh, what is your fascination about this show? One of the Bow Breaks podcasts.

SPEAKER_01: 2:15

Well, what happens is we're a multi-million dollar company, and Courtney's my media director. So what she does is she goes around and she seeks out podcasts that she thinks I'll be amazing, but and here's the but the host has to be amazing. Because I get hundreds of offers a week um to go on people's podcasts, and you know, you'll never see me promote anything in here, guys. I'm not for that. I just think uh Alexis and myself can bring some some greatness into your life. So she calls she calls me out, emails me, and on this occasion, you're one of three this year where she comes down and goes, You've got to meet this girl. And I don't argue with it anymore. Usually go, who is she? So it doesn't make a difference we've got one follower or billion follows. Um, it's that she saw something in you that she knows I will like, and that's the reason we're here.

SPEAKER_00: 3:08

Oh, I see. Well, for those of you who are listening for the first time, When the Bow Breaks podcast is a podcast that focuses on family estrangement, and we also talk about the events that kind of lead up to that. And uh, one of those things is uh drug abuse. And um, can you talk a little bit about how I don't know how to present this question because I feel like it's so big. Um in dealing with estrangement and drug abuse, can you talk about what that's like personally?

SPEAKER_01: 3:48

Well, you know, I'm fully recovered today. I don't I don't put tags on myself today. Sure. Um just living my dream. But going back, you know, back to childhood trauma, which is the gateway drug, by the way, uh, and and the the estrangement not only from families and friends, but my alcohol, because alcohol was my was my deal. It wasn't someone's drugs. I like drugs, you know, alcoholics are born, drug addicts are made. Yeah, before you start throwing things at the computer, guys, I'll I'll explain that later. But yeah, I mean, I was I I lost everything. I lost my wife, my children, 80s one and three, my houses, my cars. Um, I moved out to my mom's and dad's, I stayed there for a week. They threw me out, and and I ended up homeless on the streets of Manchester, England, where it's very cold, very rainy, and only 3% of people get off the streets where I was, and 97% of people die on the streets. So after seven attempts of suicide, on two occasions it worked, and I was dead on the street, and they brought me back to life uh on two occasions, and I hated them, man. I hated them then for that, Alexis, because I didn't actually go to hell when I was on the streets, but I could sure see it from where I was. I didn't want to live, uh, I wanted to kill myself. I tried various ways, jumping off buildings, stuff like that. Um, and it never seems to work. So, what intrigued me about addiction as a whole, and everyone has an addiction, and it could be watching too much TV or you know, dangerous ones, but everyone has an addiction. I want you to understand that, guys, before we start this journey. And I've got 35 years experience with 9,000 patients and millions of people that I see regularly. So, and we studied neuroscience or kind of neuroscientists. It's like I was sick of people going, well, you're an alcoholic, so just go to AA or go, you know, go and see the doctor. I went to see the doctor and he he told me he's an alcoholic. Well, here's the deal alcoholism is the only self-diagnosed illness in the world. 10 D WIs do not make me an alcoholic. A warning from the doctor doesn't make me an alcoholic. Three parts of my brain differ to every other uh non-alcoholic and addict out there. So the normal person doesn't have the difference in my head, especially the hypothalamus, which we'll get into. So, you know, I'm on this journey from the moment I got off the streets, huge spiritual awakening, uh, to help the guys that are suffering from anything, mental health pertaining to, and the families. Because what we found is when we got the families involved, and I don't mean you see them in treatment centers and they go once a month, and the the you know, the wife will tell the husband off, and you did this, and you'd made me feel like that. It's nothing like that. That the the the uh spouse has to do work on themselves, and and we do work with with the guide of suffering. Um, that when we do that, the success rate of uh the patient goes up by 42% alone. That's why we have a 97% success rate, and we're the only company in the world that will refund your money if you relapse while still following our program. Nobody else can say that. Yeah, nobody else can say that. Nobody else dare say that, but we do.

SPEAKER_00: 7:09

That sounds like a pretty sweet deal, especially for families who have that one person who has had to go so many times. Because, you know, it it's almost it's very similar to, I mean, it's an abusive relationship essentially. And the average uh uh person who's in an abusive relationship, it takes them at least seven times to an average of seven times before they can leave that relationship or break that trauma bond. And so it's the same with drugs and alcohol. It can take so many times, so many tries for it to stick and for it to work. That to me is a safety net that would make it easier for me to want to participate in a program like that. And uh, I'm glad you mentioned that um for all of you listening. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal.

SPEAKER_01: 8:02

Um we've been working on this a long time, but you know, when we when we look at I have two PhDs, behavioral science and psychology. Um, when you look at human behavior as a whole, females, not so much males, females stay in relationships way too long, especially when there is dysfunctional relationship. So we go back to childhood, and this this is what happens, guys. Let's say I a baby's born, female baby, and uh it's a toddler, and you know, the hot stove, and mom says, Don't put your hand on the stove, but we always do and it burns. The fundamental lesson right there to the child is whatever mom tells me is the truth. So, however it is, I'm gonna stick with that. If that if the house is dysfunctioning and there's alcoholism and abuse and stuff like that, that becomes normal life to me or the girl as a child. So when I leave that relationship with mom and dad, who was always fighting every night, dad comes home, starts a fist fight, that becomes the norm for me. That becomes a comfort zone where I can step away and hide while this is going on. So the girl leaves the house, finally goes to college, or finds a boyfriend, she will attract the same guy as uh dad was, and will stand for the same abuse that a dad used to do to the extreme that if they find a good guy, they will self-sabotage the relationship. So just to emphasize that, back in the late 60s in England, there was a girl, 16 years old. She got snatched off the side of the street. People saw it, but they couldn't find the guys. There was a manhunt for like two months. All across the UK, couldn't find him. Nine months later, a police car is following another car down a country road. He had a broken signal line, broken backlight. So he pulled him over. Now, this is a 60s, remember? Uh, and the way you used to find out if it was your car, they used to go, hey, what's in the trunk? Open yellow jacket pair of boots, open up yellow jacket pair of it's your car. Off you go. They found a stolen screwdriver in this guy's house. Now they're allowed to go back to their house and search. And sure enough, lawn mowers, drills, everything it stole from this hardware store, thousands of dollars worth of stuff. The police officer or one of those found a box in the corner. It was about four foot high by about 12 foot wide. They smashed the lock off and they were pointing at the guy saying, We know you've got more stolen stuff in there. And there was the girl that went missing nine months ago.

SPEAKER_00: 10:33

Wow.

SPEAKER_01: 10:33

So she was bruised and battered, but she was alive. You check her out every day, abuse her, bath, food, restroom, back in the box for nine months. Okay. When the policewoman stepped, leaned over the box, she took this girl's hand and she helped the girl step out of the box. She took a police coat off and she wrapped it around this poor girl. What's the first thing she did? She got back in the box. And that's what we do to relationships and life and work and stuff. We just stay in that comfort zone, man, as painful as it is, because our programming and and specifically the basal ganglia, the basal ganglia becomes in that routine that this is the norm, and I can stay safe, even though they're being hurt on a daily basis. And what happens with light is we stay there and we don't come out baby. And how many times have you heard guys say this with my patients anyway? The guy will say to them, No one's gonna have you with three kids. Who do you think's gonna have you? What a bunch of crap. Yeah, that's a guy there. That's not a real man, okay? I can't stand it. That's a weak man saying what he can out of jealousy and fear. He wants to shut up and move out if he wants to move out. Because anybody's capable of anything. You need you can't sit in that comfort zone, guys. Yeah, you really can't. You will die in that comfort zone.

SPEAKER_00: 11:57

If you'd like to be a guest, send us an email. wtvvpodcast at gmail.com. Back to the show. I just uh recorded an episode the other day where um I was just kind of talking to survivors who are in that situation. Leaving doesn't sound like fun, it sounds very scary. And but not as scary as it does for you to stay. To me, what will happen to you is much scarier if you stay. And I thank God for people like I don't want to say thank God because I'm an atheist, but you know what I mean. The same, thankful for people who recognize that I was in an abusive situation when I didn't recognize that I was in an abusive relationship. I needed someone like that cop to put a coat around me and show me some compassion and show me that things don't have to be like that, that I don't have to get back in that box. So I really am happy that you're here and doing the work that you're doing. And I feel like I want to do the same thing. Tell people, you do not have to get back in that box. It's not made for you. You may be comfortable with it, but it's not made for you.

SPEAKER_01: 13:16

It's not made for you. Oh my God, I love that. Absolutely. You know, it's not, but unless, like you said, you can't do this on your own.

SPEAKER_00: 13:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 13:24

Because you don't want what you're walking into or walking out of.

unknown: 13:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 13:26

You need somebody who's been through this who can walk you out of this with them, knowing quite well everything's gonna be okay.

SPEAKER_00: 13:33

Right. And then once you leave, you know, it it's it's not like it's over. You know, there's a lot of recovery, and some of those things are still stuck on you, those abusive things, those name-calling, the uh poor self-esteem, or those habitual things, or the lack of boundaries, whatever it is, you have to go to therapy, you have to have support from other people to have those things kind of removed or uh be lifted from you, and it takes time, it takes a lot of time. And so when you leave, sometimes you're not just leaving that one person, you're leaving a whole entire situation and life and environment, and that's scary. The unknown can be scary when you don't know what to expect because you've experienced the horrors of this relationship. Now you're like, well, what is this person gonna do? What is that person gonna do? Um, but you kind of have to move forward with that every day and learn how to trust yourself more than you trust other people. And that was something I had to learn to trust myself more than other people at first because I didn't know who to trust. I trust the wrong people and then get up in those relationships again. So until I learned to trust myself, I didn't know who else to trust. I that whole thing was I was blinded from that.

SPEAKER_01: 15:00

Definitely. We get into patterns as human beings, yeah. And it's very hard to break the patterns, and that's again the basal gang. Repetition strengthen confirms of any situation that we are in. I mean, we're in one every single day we get up, we put a man shower, then coffee, or coffee, then shower. We have a routine every morning that we don't know we do. So when you're trying to break out of a pattern, it's very hard when you don't know the pattern. Now, an easy pattern for explanation purposes is if you've ever been on a bus and you've gone to the seaside or something, bunch of guys, you know, get off a few beers, everything's great. Time to come home, get back on the bus, which seat you sit in. Usually the one you travel there in. See, that's a pattern you don't know, but you do. So we go back to relationships and hurt and all that stuff we go through, we go in the same pattern. Most people without help in traumatic situations, wives suffer from PTSD in relationships, go back to that or won't leave because of the fear. And and fear isn't real. People think it is, but it's not. It's like if you ever go for an interview or stand on a stage, it's fearful, it's fearful, it's fearful. You get in the interview, the guy talks, the fear's gone. You go on stage, you open your mouth, the face gone. So it's not real, it's a preconception of uh not knowing. That's it.

SPEAKER_00: 16:16

You about the board how you'd have known, you'd have to just call it fear because that's what we're doing.

SPEAKER_01: 16:22

Because we expect things to repeat, you know. I didn't get that job, so I'll get this job. If you only knew, guys, how powerful the mind was, you've you've got to watch the internal dialogue. So a behavioral or a word from outside you can come in. 900 people, you're amazing. One person, you're terrible, you'll never do that. Usually one friend or family member, by the way, guys. Don't be silly, you can't do that. No, I'm just joking that that guy needs to go because what that does going back to the hand on the stove from mom, we still believe after all these years, one percent of the brain still believes what people tell us is the truth. So, because of the traumatic experience we've been through, we take that one that sits in the subconscious brain, and that's the we concentrate on that one all the time. Yeah, you have to realize how we got the subconscious mind and the conscious mind, guys. Okay, the subconscious, in layman's terms, wants to kill you and make it look like an accident. The conscious mind is the now, because that's all we have. So get this, guys. When you wake up in the morning, the subconscious mind wakes you up, and the reason it wakes you up is because of lack of oxygen. So the presence of oxygen equals a lack of disease, it's also the lack of the conscious mind. So on a normal circadian sleep pattern between two and five, our body is at its lowest, it's that is vulnerable right there because it's hardly any oxygen. It's also the time when most people die of natural causes. So when we wake up, there's not a lot of oxygen. So we have to do the 20 exaggerated breaths in and out first thing before we do anything. What happens is that dies, and the conscious brain kicks in. This guy here can do anything he wants to do that day. He can earn a million dollars, it could be the best dad, he could get that job, whatever it is here. But every 24 hours, three parts of the brain reset itself. So have a guess who's gonna wake you up tomorrow. It's this guy, and that's where the 24 hours is not an AA thing, they adopted it. The 24 hours is that the brain resets, 24 hour period that you have to start again. So rather than jumping back to old path, we've got to jump into new. So 300 neural pathways die every day in the head. There are billions. Neural pathways for layman is the thought pans. So 300 neural pathways die every single day. The question is, what are you replacing them with? Are you replacing them with the past? What people said? Are we are we replacing with the guys we're hanging around, the positive stuff? Because if you hang around nine depressed people, you will become the 10th. If your friends are here and don't want you to succeed, and you want to pull away from that cesspit, you've got to start look hanging around other people. They're always lifting you up, always complimenting you. When you say something like I'm thinking around a book, they don't go, oh, I don't know about it. They go, Oh my god, I thought you'd already wrote them. That's what happened to me. I thought you only got books out there, Dr. Well. What you need to so I wrote a book, but for 12 years in Dallas, when I was in my friends are going, Don't be silly, you're not an author. Why would you do that? Moved here four years ago, completely different. I wrote a book. So you've got to stop listening to the naysayers, and it's really hard, Miss Guys, if with somebody who knows what they're doing, it's easy. You've got to stop listening to them with your internal dialogue because we repeat what people say to us.

SPEAKER_00: 19:43

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01: 19:43

Every friend has a stupid saying, Shut up was one of mine. I hated it. I hated her for doing it. Stop doing it within two weeks of excess. Shut up. Oh my. So we repeat every part of the brain. We repeat. So do we want to take them negativity that becomes internal. Dialogue, which becomes an working part of the brain, which becomes action. Or do we want to go to go to the guys that's this place that I want to get to? Again, millionaire, best dad, best husband, whatever it is. Do we want to get there? Because when you sat in this comfort zone here with the guys that don't really like you and care for you, you'd know it this guy. If there is something wrong with you, especially addiction, you go in the hospital, you see these guys here. How many how many people visited you? None. None. I can tell you. So you need to you need to pull away from that cess bit, and they're gonna try and drag you back again with little comments. Who does he think he is? A doctor or I've seen his house. I remember when he lived on the projects with us. Guys, I can go back and help you, but you know something? I'm not gonna freaking live there with you. That's not happening. Right. Oh, we're on a roll now, Alexis.

SPEAKER_00: 20:51

We're we're plowing through. I grew up in a house full of discouragement. It was weird. It was grandiose and it was discouraging at the same time. So it was very confusing. And uh, you know, so my mom, she would, you know, build our family up. Oh, we're so great. We're we were all musicians, we all had some kind of talent or smarts, we were all pretty nerdy people, and uh, you know, um, but my mother and my dad kind of had this grandiose idea of our family, but at the same time, they could not stop criticizing each other. And I just, I mean, of course, I got all I started doing it too, because that's just what you do to everybody. That's how you, that was your normal, that was how we just kind of went through the day-to-day. And uh, so yeah, that kind of set me up for other people telling me the same things. Uh, you have a raspy voice, or you shouldn't do this, or you're not good enough to do this, or you're a female. You should be doing this, and that's you know, whatever. Um, you know, so it took me a while to realize that those people are just sad, broken people and they need help. And that's not how everybody thinks of you. That is not not everyone thinks that uh my voice is raspy. Not everyone thinks that uh there's something wrong with me because I'm a female. In fact, most people think I'm pretty cool. I found out, but I didn't know that until I got a right away from those people. Um placing yourself in new environments is very important. Like you said, when you take out those, when you wake up with those new cells and everything like that, what are you gonna do with them? What are you going, what kind of people are you gonna hang around with? Um, are you just hanging around this person because they're not your ex or they're not so and so? It's what kind of person are they? And how do they actually make you feel? Do they discourage you the same way? As are you putting up with it because you just think that that's how people are? That's not how people should be if that's how they are. Nobody should be constantly discouraging you uh from doing things while also trying to take from you at the same time. That's just silly.

SPEAKER_01: 23:03

There's two kinds of people in this world the people that love you for who you are, and the people that want to be you. And believe me enough, this is true. Because you will never, this is what I found with my 63 years experience on this earth. You will never find somebody who's doing as good as you or better ever criticize you, never make a negative comment. Never, okay. It's the wannabe guys. It took me a long time to realize that they wanna be me because that's a bold statement, and who the hell do you think I am? But I you have to you work on that and realize that they do, otherwise, why would they comment? So that internal dialogue must be strong, very strong, you know, and stop hanging around them guys, man. You know, show your friends or show you future. I think sometimes it's hard, you know. You have to step away or you know, talk about your even a family member. There's always one person, family member or immediate circle with three, four people that wants to fail. Try and find out who that is. Look around and see who isn't applauding when you win something.

SPEAKER_00: 24:05

Yeah. Yeah, right. I don't get that so many times in my life. I can't tell you that people have criticized me while also, you know, behind my back complaining that they didn't get what I had. And I yeah, it's it is crazy. So I have a question for you. I know that you experienced some estrangement while you were going through everything you were going through. Um, I know that last time we talked, you kind of touched uh a little bit about uh you had some estrangement from your your family, your children, and but that you're reconnected now. Do you yeah, can you just tell me a little bit about that? Because I I really want everyone to hear this story because um, and I I didn't ask him to share it with me yet. I wanted to wait until the show uh just to kind of you know keep it real with y'all. But um, he's gonna tell us a story about how he sort of reconnected with his children after he uh sort of recovered. And so why don't you go ahead and take it away?

SPEAKER_01: 25:09

So many years ago, my children were taken off me when me and my wife split up. I she left with the kids. I'd stabbed her three times one night because she won't let me finish my bottle of vodka. That's how crazy I was. So when she left with the kids, my attorney got them back the next day. Um, for two days I was in a stupor, they weren't fed, they weren't changed diapers. Uh the police kicked the door down. And the last thing my eldest, who was three years old, said to me was, Daddy, daddy, please don't go. And then walking down the pathway, holding mommy's hand, she turned around again. He said, Daddy, daddy, please get better. And as they got to the gate, mom opened the gate, and my little daughter turned around one more time. She said, Daddy, daddy, please stop drinking. And I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. So 28, 27, 30 years, I don't know how how long. I guess I met, I guess I met uh I message on messenger. It's the middle of the night. I'm squinting at this message, and it's Charlie, my daughter. And he said, Dad, you know, I've seen you on TV. I don't believe what the lies that was told to me. I want to see you, I've got something to tell you. I want my wife, but I'm crying. She called me dad, Alexis. She called me dad. And um, we was on we were on a plane within like two hours. We have people around us that does things for us, so we're on a plane because the next morning I'm waiting outside the door, I've not knocked on the door yet. All the memories and stuff's going through my mind, what a piece of crap! What sort of father are you? What you doing here? Blah blah blah. And she opened the door without us knocking, and we hugged each other and we cried. And uh, all them, all them 30 years of estrangement, working with people, I always knew one day that this would happen, but anyway, we hugged. She grabbed me by my hand, she walked me into a living room, and she handed me my three-month-old granddaughter. It was right there, and then I knew it was doing the right thing, you know, and he was because that's helped save millions of lives. Um, and you know, we go over there two or three times a year, we speak every day. She's now my lead therapist in my Manchester office. We have five offices around the world. Um, so that was amazing. And then six weeks ago, my youngest daughter contacts me on Messenger, and we'll talk every day, and I'm going over to see her, and they're gonna come over here. So just the moral of that story is no matter how far down the scale you've gone, no matter what you've done in life, um, especially uh through addiction, everything can be repaired. You can fully recover from that that you're going through, and everything will be returned to you. I mean, it just does.

SPEAKER_00: 27:55

You are listening to When the Bow Breaks Podcast. To support the show, visit buymeacopy.com slash WTBB pod. Back to the show.

SPEAKER_01: 28:06

I've heard it 9,000 times with patients of my own, never mind the millions and millions of testimonies I've heard around the world. So it goes for everybody, man. You know, if you're sat in a one-bedroom, broken up apartment, usually the guy, wife slave, took the children, you've got no job, you've got no money, uh, I want to categorically tell you that you're going through it for a reason, and this is not your lot. I'm telling you now, it's not your lot.

SPEAKER_00: 28:32

Thank you for sharing that. And I I mean, I can say, as an estranged adult child myself, when you were saying how your daughter was basically begging you to get help and begging you to get better, that's all they wanted for you was for you to be healthy and happy and just to be their dad. And they they weren't expecting you to be some amazing person, they weren't expecting you to be who you are now, even probably. They just, you know, wanted you to be healthy and happy and and be their dad. And that's all I wanted for my parents too. And I just I want everyone who's listening, like, yeah, you can always heal. There are there is hope, there is, there are all kinds of support avenues now, not like there used to be these topics. They're not as taboo as they used to be. Um, you know, there's a lot of loving support out there that can help you prepare the relationships with your family. Um, especially.

SPEAKER_01: 29:29

Just to reiterate on that, Alexa, I'm so it was amazing. When me and my daughter got back in contact with her, I always make sure uh I was very materialistic. We lived in the right neighborhood, we bought Mercedes every year. You know, we had the we had the watches, we I mean everybody thought this life was amazing. And I and I used to drop her off at school and know quite well that I had the biggest and the best Mercedes dropping my daughter off. And when we got talking in her house that day, and I said, I did my best, you know, all the Mercedes and stuff, and she said what you just said. I said, Dad, I don't remember the Mercedes. I don't, I don't remember. What I remember, Dad, is you're not being there because you were drunk somewhere or you were working late or you know, and I realized that the only people that's gonna miss you are your children, not the boss, not your boss or anything like that. He don't care if you if you die or live, he said. Yeah, if I die tonight, um, you know, and I had a boss within a week, he's advertising my job. Within two weeks, there's a new employer starting doing the job. No one's rob who I don't oh that guy. Nobody cares. The only thing that cares in life and matters is family. We have a rule at this company, and the rule is children first. I don't care what happens with your children, she's sick or that you do not come in work, we fully pay you, we'll get Ubers at whatever you want, we support, because you've only got you've only got this time, you can't buy time back, man. Yeah, quickly, and people think they have time, and you don't. So mom's when you one minute I'm waving off to kindergarten, next minute I'm waving to college. Where does that time go? So if you're putting something off, like starting a business or having children, I want to tell you guys, you're never ready, okay? So stop putting it until you're ready. Never gonna be ready. So do it today.

SPEAKER_00: 31:20

And just backing up a little bit, we're almost out of time, but backing up a little bit to what you said in the beginning of the episode was childhood trauma is the gateway drug. That is so true. That is so true. And so I just wanted to say, you know, for all of you parents out there, be good to your kids. And your kids, they don't expect you to be amazing, they just want you to be healthy, happy, well-rounded, and to be there for them. That's it.

SPEAKER_01: 31:46

If you look at the biggest picture, here's a statement that really annoys some people. But look at it in general. As a child, anything less than nurturing is child abuse. Think let that sit there, guys. Don't just go, well, this bit strong. Sit there with that. We nurture when we can. We go to work, two parents need to work these days to afford a mortgage and a car. We know that. But I was sent to the zoo to watch the chimpanzees of the monkey. And and what I found was the nurturing. So when you can spend time with your kids, nurture them children, never shout them at how many times, Billy, you can't write on that wall. It doesn't work, guys, like that. It's yeah, I tell you what, I'm gonna buy a big piece of paper and I wait to draw because that's beautiful drawing. I want you to draw on this piece, and then repair the wall and get on with it because it's that stuff that sticks. A stupid little comment, a silly little comment that you make half jokingly can scar that child for life.

SPEAKER_00: 32:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 32:42

Because I've seen and I work with them people.

SPEAKER_00: 32:45

Yeah. This is good stuff, guys. Um I want to thank you so much for coming on the show. I have to say, I booked you on my birthday. It was such a great gift for myself. Oh, wow. Um, and so I'm really glad that you're here. And thank you for all this good stuff. Thank you for sharing your own personal story uh of reconnection with your children. That is so beautiful. And just, I mean, and tenfold too, just holding your your baby, your new grandbaby in your arms. And that's just that's amazing. Um, everyone, thank you for listening to When the Bow Breaks podcast. Before we go, real quick, can you tell everyone how to get connected with you or how they can contact you and your services if they're interested?

SPEAKER_01: 33:26

All social medias, and if you if you're listening, not watching, I spell my name into Bs, R O B B K-E-L-O-Y.com. Come message us, talk to us, you know, whatever. Like I said, we can be of service via messenger. I've got a bunch of girls here that work with people free of charge. So if you're going through something or your son and daughter is contact us, we can help get you through. We'll never charge you up a dime.

SPEAKER_00: 33:46

Awesome. Well, thank you so much for coming on the show again. This is Alexis Erlin, and you are listening to and watching When the Fow Breaks podcast.